Amy N Kaplan

The Intergalactic Pumpkin Organization exists for the sole purpose of educating people that pumpkins, regardless of birthplace, breed, color and size should be treated with dignity and respect.  Above all, we need to make sure that all pumpkins are free from the bonds of oppression that pervades within the pumpkin farms of today!!!    

Once upon a time in the realm of North America, pumpkins made their debut, strutting their stuff as the local botanical celebrities. Rumor has it that seeds resembling these plump fellas were dug up in Mexican soils, showcasing their existence way back around 7000 to 5500 B.C. Pumpkins weren’t just any ordinary garden variety; they had history dripping off their vibrant orange skins. The Greeks playfully dubbed them “pepon,” meaning “large melon,” giving these gourds a heavyweight title. The French decided to fancy things up and turned “pepon” into the chic “pompon,” and the Brits took it upon themselves to transform it into the more sensible “pumpion.” But as linguistic makeovers go, the American colonists truly outdid themselves by crowning them “pumpkins.”

Ah, but let’s not forget the golden age of pumpkins, an era that could make any pumpkin nostalgic – the days when Native American Indians were the pumpkin whisperers. They had this genius method, the “Mound” planting – also known as the “three sisters” or “companion” planting. Picture this: corn, beans, and pumpkins living in perfect harmony, like the coolest roommates ever. The corn reached for the skies, the beans cozied up, and the pumpkins spread out like they owned the place. Centuries before the pilgrims crash-landed on Plymouth Rock, these Native American folks were pumpkin trendsetters, chowing down on them like it was a lifestyle.

Fast forward to the settlers’ star-studded entrance. They stumbled upon these pumpkin gems, left and right, thanks to the locals who were way ahead of the curve. Naturally, pumpkins became a mainstay in the settlers’ culinary scene, turning up in every recipe from sweet to savory. And lo and behold, the iconic pumpkin pie took center stage – legend has it that the colonists went wild, carving out the insides, filling them up with milk, spices, and honey, and then roasted these concoctions right in the warmth of a fading fire. And so, the pumpkin saga continues, a tale of transformation from “pepon” to pie.

Now that you have found out some interesting facts, let’s talk about freeing the pumpkins from the vines of oppression!  The pain, the suffering…. the useless violence perpetuated against the pumpkin.

• Do they have any choice?  NO!!!
• Are they allowed to decide how they should be raised?  NO!!!
• Do they like being brutally cut apart and made into macabre creatures??  NO!!!
• Do they enjoy being hurled through the sky in the annual “Punkin Chuckin” contests?  NO!!!

It’s the mission of the Intergalactic Pumpkin Association to move the pumpkins off of the corporate farms that herd them like cattle and profit off of their misery!!  It’s time they rose up from the Farmers fields so they can be raised naturally in a loving and caring environment.  It’s time that they stop being laughed at due to their colors, shapes and flavors!    It’s time to let these noble gourds play, romp and procreate free of a life of bondage and servitude!  Let’s break the vines of oppression!

Let our rallying cry be:

Off the vine is awfully fine
Let us be shown the love that we covet
it will be great when we won’t have to whine
And let people know that they can shove it

Long live…FREE RANGE PUMPKINS!!!!